last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize