Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
