i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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