I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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