Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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