Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
