Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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