Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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