have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
