Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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