i just google imaged poop.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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