Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
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