4 words: hood of his car
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Drake has all the answers
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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