i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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