I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
