He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
