I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
a search helicopter?!
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
