i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
