do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
