So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
