awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
