We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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