Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Randomize
