i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
