My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I need water and some morals
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
