Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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