Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
