Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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