also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
