He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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