is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i was born a porn star she said
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
