Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
