my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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