I would go down on you faster than GM stock
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
