woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
