In the future we'll all be gay
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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