hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
