i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
