He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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