And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
