Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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