they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
