Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize