it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
