is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
