When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Randomize
