Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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