I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
