Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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