Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
